V&R001

The Keeper of My Heart

Featured | Posted by

So with the approach of Valentines I have been thinking a lot about my singleness and such. It is funny at this time of year most single people are depressed and lonely. Although I have had my days I can’t say that I am even close to actually lonely and am most defiantly not depressed! And in case you are wondering Yes I am still very single. Well mostly that is… A few years ago around the time my dad was losing his battle with cancer I had a conversation with the Lord about my desire to marry and the fact that it was becoming clearer that my dad may not be around when that day was to come. I told the Lord I wanted Him to have all of my heart and that when the right man came along he was going to have to first approach the Lord to even have a chance to romance me. Because there is no one who knows how to romance me better then the Lord! And I trust Him implicitly when it comes to matters of the heart.

***Sigh***

So as a woman and more specifically a human… Well I get ahead of myself and make some silly choices. And well I may be absolutely sure that I know what is best for me but most of the time I find out He knew even better.

So here’s what happened. (Right now it’s about to get really real!)

Not very long ago I started to find a certain young man more interesting then the others. Something felt different about this one. Everything about him seemed so right and well needless to say I was smitten! I am the type who falls fast and hard and most of my family would tell you we go all in! (Side note) A long time ago I almost ruined a friendship with a very close friend by making such feelings known and after that I decided I would never be the first to speak of matter of the heart and the possibility of a deeper relationship with any man. (End side note) So it was just a whole lot of emotion on my part. Let’s just put it this was… Things got a little complicated and well I found myself begging the Father for my heart. I am not sure why but as I think back it seemed like a desperate attempt at picking up the pen to write my own story as opposed to letting the Lord. But you know I love the Lord for how He knows me because well He can always rebuke me in a way that I thank Him almost immediately.

We this is basically how the exchange went…

Me: Lord, Can I have my heart?

God: Yes, daughter… Can I ask you a question first?

Me: Yes!

God: What do you plan on doing with it?

Me: Well there is this guy.

God: Oh… I know him.

Me: You do?

God: Yes I do… But what does he have to do with your heart?

Me: Well… You know I like him a lot!

God: Oh I see… Can I ask you another question?

Me: Yes… What is it?

God: Why do you need to have your heart just because you like this young man?

Me: I want him to see my heart.

God: You told Me when you gave my your heart to keep it and be sure it was safe. How can I keep it safe if you have it?

Me: Oh… That’s a good question.

God: I love you! I want you safe and I will give you your heart if you want it. Do you want it?

Me: Um… I guess it might be better if you hold onto it.

God: What is it that you like about this child of mine precious daughter.

Me: He is a man of integrity who seeks you first and longs for adventure and I can see so much in him that I would love to walk with him into the future and see everything that You have for him to be.

God: You see him like I do! I have another question… If you love that he longs to adventure and seeks Me first why would he look to you for your heart if yours is the one he wants to join with?

Me: Oh! I guess if he is the man I belong with You better be the One who has my heart.

(End Conversation)

I am pretty sure that there are few things more humbling then conversing with the Lord on matters of the heart. I often say that if my friends who are older than me can wait longer then I can to marry without complaining then honestly I have no room to speak. After this conversation I was reminded that even if God exists outside of time. He has no equal He has no one to love aside from us. He gave His Son to us so we could know that He loves us and He just longs for us! He longs to protect us and journey with us! One day I will truly comprehend the fullest extent that He went for me to have these seemingly trivial conversations with Him but until then well! This is how it goes!

I am His and He is my beloved! God my Father and Lover is the keeper of my heart!

If he who finds a wife finds a good thing (Prov 18:22) I want him to find this lady while seeking the Lord!

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.    Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:33-34)

 Alicia

img_4135

Alicia

Posted on by

Reblogged from I Am Beautiful:

Click to visit the original post
  • Click to visit the original post
  • Click to visit the original post

Alicia and I go to church together.  She and her family are remarkable people who love the Lord with all of their hearts.  You might remember her mother Beth writing an article for this project.  She comes from a line of photography lovers and is also passionate about the medium.  She will be joining the WhoIsBeautiful team as a contributing photographer on our relaunch March 1st of this year. 

Read more… 1,083 more words

I was the featured story on Whoisbeautiful.org this week!
ballons

30 years…

Posted on by

Today marks the anniversary of my parents marriage! It would have been thirty years today! I am so proud of my mom walking through all the crazy things she did. It started and ended walking down the isle of a church. My parents set the family record for fastest wedding. God bless the military and the way things happened because of the procedures and policies that they have in place! I will say I very much plan on letting my parents hold the getting married in a weeks time be the family record! It came to a beautiful conclusion when my mom walked down the isle of our church in NC to say good bye to my father one last time form a pulpit with a beautiful eulogy after battling cancer and the other hazards of life by his side faithfully for over 28 and a half years. It is often at weddings that they release balloons to celebrate. At my fathers funereal we released them to commemorate and each of us wrote a note in sharpie on them as they floated up many of us found closure having said those things we felt we could have missed before we said goodbye to him. So I thought to honor him today it might be a sweet gift to my family to release some balloons today to my Dad to say… Happy Anniversary! I forgot to bring my camera but hopefully these pictures from my phone and my mom’s phone will do!

We have a video of us reading what we wrote but I am not thinking we will get it up any time soon. This has been a rather productive week three posts! Let’s hope I can remain faithful as the year moves forward!

Alicia

Mom&Dad

Waiting for Someday…

Posted on by

***This is a Re-Post from my Blogger in honor of Today being my parents 30th Anniversary!***

I honestly don’t know if I will ever write it but I have in the past talked about writing a book on waiting for the right man in your life and not settling for just a boy! It is still a possibility… The only reason I mention it is that this blog post could very well be one of the beginning chapters of the book.

I have often heard it said that patience is a virtue. But what is a virtue and why should I have it anyway! When I looked it up the premise of it is a virtue is a positive trait or quality deemed to be morally good and thus is valued as a foundation of principle and good moral being. That being said I can agree that patience is a trait I value as the foundation of principle. My brother being the incredible young man he is occasionally calls me “chayil ‘ishshah” in reference to Proverbs 31:10, it is the original Hebrew text for virtuous woman. He calls out the very virtue I should have in my life. I am learning to let my life reflect such an excellence in character. Someday I hope to reflect such virtue in the eyes of a different man in my life!

There’s that word… Someday! That is really what I have stirring in my heart right now. The Someday! Someday is a day that many of us for the most part as girls romanticize. I should clarify this I am not saying this is bad thing! Someday is a good thing! But what I am saying is don’t put off someday trying to get to someday! Because if you do that you will spend a lifetime living the todays or tomorrows never reaching someday.

I want to tell you a story about two people and how they met. A few years ago on the night before Christmas eve there was a young lady named Beth working the late shift in communications on an overseas military base. There was also a young man named Paul who worked  in the same place but worked a different shift so they had not met. Paul being up late and not really having anyone to talk to decided to call into work knowing it was usually pretty slow at that hour. Beth was working with another guy that happened to know Paul they talked for a while and eventually Beth joined the conversation. Paul thinking it might be fun to get together when everyone wasn’t working asked if anyone had every had Mongolian BBQ because there was supposed to be some close by on Christmas eve. Everyone agreed it would be fun! So the next day when Paul having been on leave for a couple days showed up to pick up Beth, He was wearing of Jeans and a T-shirt with a scruffy look from not shaving for a couple days and well introduced himself saying “Hi, I’m ZanyNut Zinn!” Now if you don’t know me all that well you wouldn’t have known by their names that this story is about how my parents met. I’m using this story to say two things. First I am able to share it for the most part from memory because well I have heard it like a million times! I love the story because like most people they weren’t planning on having a day that was, well going to change their lives forever but well they did… they had a Someday! Which leads to my second point in the midst of all their todays there was a someday that probably started off looking a lot like it was just going to be another today!

Many of us spend our life looking for Someday when we could be enjoying Today! Remember this Today has the potential becoming that Someday!I think that patience is enjoying the today while waiting for someday!

Alicia

rain004

Rainy Days & Mondays

Posted on by

I know that I am a bit younger then your average Carpenters fan but I did come by it honestly… My dad was a big fan of them! So I have heard my fair share of Carpenters songs. I enjoy many of them. But after reflecting over the lyrics of this particular song I am finding that honestly in my life this couldn’t be further from the truth! I love rainy days and as for Mondays to me they are so fresh and ripe with potential that they rarely get me down! Today has been a lovely day filled with the quiet falling of rain outside my window as I worked on a few projects in preparation of school starting next week. I am excited to share one of the projects I am working on with you but that will be another post for another day. Probably in a week or so! So your patience is appreciated and so is your joyous expectation!

Alicia

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

Posted on by

Hello All!

I just wanted to stop in and say Hi!

I am in the process of transitioning things over to WordPress from Blogger. So over time things will be moving here permanently! I am also looking to start writing more often at least once or twice a month! My life has been so full of incredible things and I am almost bursting with so many things that have been poured into my heart.

The concluding year has been so full I am sure there is no way to truly put any more into it even with the few passing hours left until it comes to a close. I am so thankful for School, New Friends, Old Friends, My Church Family, Weddings, My Family, The Best Roommates Ever, A Seizure, A Tough Diagnosis, Healing that Takes Time, Two schools, 25 Credit Hours in one Semester, Passing Grades, A new job and so much more! As this year is ending I look back over the memories I made and can’t help but smile because of the immense joy that comes to my heart as I think of the amazing people that have come into my life over the last year. I find myself even happier as I look forward because I know most of these relationships will last the rest of my life!

The next year has even more to bring me with the conclusion of my schooling at CFNI and the bright future that comes with the commencement of my time at this incredible school! Soon hope to tell you all about the big plans that are to come but a lot of it still remains a mystery to me as it often does in life! I will say that there is a possibility of a mission trip this year and a maybe a road trip or two. I will only be young and single once so I want to live out my life to the fullest! Who needs Alcohol and Drugs to have a good time anyways? Not me I would rather have close friends and a good laugh!

Alicia